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| Sunday, April 30, 2006 |
| In less than 24 hours we've. . . |
1. Climbed into the mouth of a t-rex and called Sasha to say Happy Birthday 2. Picked up a hitch-hiker 3. Ignored the threats of a $50,000 fine and played in the hoodoos 4. Driven from the prairies into the desert and then into semi-forest region 5. Played a rousing game of Get Off That Thing ("Get Off That Hoodoo" and "Get Off That Dinosaur") 6. Looked over the edge of a canyon 7. Searched for dinosaur bones, but they all cost $2000 8. Listened to music circa 1995 9. Saw a bison farm (not to mention hawks, bison, llamas and donkeys!) 10.Eaten a dinner Mike made us, which was delicious (Mike has his Blue Seals Chefs whateveryoucallit) 11. De-stressed 12. Taken over 70 pictures 13. Driven over 400 km 14. Gotten sunburned in the +26 degree weather 14. And most importantly, Mike and I took Brie and Court to their first non-LCBO liquor store. ("Is there a liquor store close to here?" they asked. "Only about 6," Mike answered, "in a 1-block radius." I love Jasper Avenue.)
. . .and now we're all sitting around with semi-hairy pants and sweatpants (except for Mike, who allegedly has "super-hairy legs") and drinking. |
posted by Jess at 12:40 AM | Permalink |
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| Friday, April 28, 2006 |
| In less than 48 hours we've. . . |
1. Drank straight vodka in a limo 2. Watched a hockey game and male strippers* at the same time in the same bar 3. Sat in the hot springs in the sun on the side of a mountain 4. Gone shopping in Banff 5. Driven over 250 km 6. Gone to an acreage and petted horses 7. Ate grilled french toast cinnamon buns 8. Slept very little 9. Embarassed ourselves with our sleep-deprived laughter in an airport 10. Watched a movie 11. Danced until my straightened hair turned curly 12. Not gotten lost (yet) 13. Went to a bar that didn't serve pitchers of beer 14. Attempted to two-step
*I hate male strippers. Even more than I hate celery and cold sandwiches and snokerlling. One had the nerve to come and put his hand up the back of my shirt and run his fingers along my spine. Let's just say that after I verbally responded to this, he immediatlly removed his hand and glared at me as he walked away. |
posted by Jess at 10:37 PM | Permalink |
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| Thursday, April 27, 2006 |
| Ain't had no lovin', since you've been gone. . .* |
1:26 AM
It's day one of the yet-un-aptly named Alberta roadtrip. Except, we're still in Toronto.
Brie is packing, Mark is making us mix CDs (with the daunting task of trying to not overlap with music that I already put on the 7 CDs I made today) and I'm about to jump in the shower. Courtney is presumably still at Mat's, hunched over a sewing machine, ripping out stitches, and probably using language not fit for a proper lady in an effort to get her outfits done for the Toronto Wildlife Fashion Show before we leave.
When Brie and I booked our flights 6 weeks ago, we did so with the idea in mind that getting into Calgary at 9 a.m. Mountain Standard Time would allow us the entire day of fun-filled Western Canadian activities. "The early flight? You're brave," the friendly WestJet agent commented when I booked the flights. It didn't occur to me what she was talking about until we did the math (which, as most of your know, isn't my strong suit) and realized that we have to catch a cab to the airport around 4:30 a.m. in order to make our flight.
Needless to say, once we get to Calgary, the only fun-filled activity we'll be doing tomorrow will involve a mid-day nap.
2:12 AM
I feel like I'm going to pass out. I'm not going to make it until 4:30. Does it count as a nap if it happens in the middle of the night?
4:09 AM
It turns out that it doesn't count as a nap if you don't manage to fall asleep at all and instead you just toss and turn for two hours straight. Awesome.
Brie just crawled out of bed looking well rested after her solid hour of sleep, and Court's not here yet. I have a feeling this will be an interesting sleep-deprived trip.
T minus 30 minutes until go time.**
*Oh, c'mon now. This is just obvious. And kind of embodies my usual Alberta vs. Toronto experience. But that's another story. **I'll be updating sporadically from the home front when I get the chance. And of course, I'll probably have the largest photo post in this blog's history when I get back to Toronto. |
posted by Jess at 1:28 AM | Permalink |
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| Wednesday, April 26, 2006 |
| Bittersweet Numbers |
A lot of people don't seem to understand when I say I'm nervous to come home. Here's one of the reasons:
Do you know that feeling of dread you get in the pit of your stomach when you think about encountering your ex-lover, ex-boyfriend, ex-boss, or ex-best friend? You know that feeling that engulfs you when you are literally faced with something or someone you dread?
Okay, well, in the city the size of Toronto, running into one of these people/problems is still a possibility, but a greatly diffused one. While there is always the constant chance that it might happen, you can generally speaking breathe a sigh of relief that it's highly unlikely, and even if you manage to spot someone on the TTC, you can pretend that you didn't see them.
Toronto's also about 4.5 million people, including the GTA. Cold Lake, including the surrounding area is roughly 12, 000 people. Therefore, if my mathematical corrections are correct, in Cold Lake it is 375 times more likely that you will run into someone or a situation that you'd rather avoid.
Now, if we want to throw more numbers into the mix, multiple the number of people I know in Toronto by roughly 19 (because I lived in Cold Lake for a considerably longer period of time), which ups the variable of how many people and situations I possibly want to avoid. Also, keep in mind that right now I'm approximately 3100 km away from everything I want to possibly want to forget.
Add it all up, and I've got avoidance issues. |
posted by Jess at 5:03 PM | Permalink |
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| Sunday, April 23, 2006 |
| We won't be needing the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, thanks.* |
 I spent this past Saturday in bed, grumpy because I was sick with a swollen throat. Sasha and I also rented C.R.A.Z.Y, which was thoroughly enjoyable, and I highly recommend it (although cuddling with Sasha on the couch may have had to do with the enjoyment factor.)
 Today my mood improved considerably when Sasha and I went to Bloor & Dufferin to visit Pierre at his pet store.
 I'm a sucker for animals, what can I say? Pierre also let me hold a couple of snakes, but they started constricting around my arm before I got a chance to take any gratitutous pictures.
 So, here's another one of Sasha with the puppies.
We trekked back home to China in the pouring rain. . .
 . . .but not alone! (Look at how excited Brie is! Haha, that's awesome!)
 This is my yet un-named bunny. Right now I'm toying with naming mine Sadaam, but only if Sasha names hers George. (For some reason I have the insatiable desire to name my rabbit after a dictator.)

The bunnies are indistinguishable, except that mine is a tiny bit smaller in size. Otherwise, they are identical in colour, appearance, and markings. I guess we'll have to wait for their personalities to develop before we can really tell them apart. I suspect mine will have the dominating personality, though. 
I already know it's smarter than Sasha's bunny, which is evident through its clear love of newspapers. 
The rabbit doesn't know it yet, but it's going to be possibly the most blogged about animal in history.** *I'm sure the first response to this post will be some eager over-achiever sourcing that title. Ah, it's pretty obvious, so it wouldn't surprise me.
**Don't worry, I'm not going to be one of those people who dresses their animals up in stupid outfits or anything. It's just pretty likely that I'm going to take lots of gratitutous pictures of me holding the rabbit.
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posted by Jess at 8:49 PM | Permalink |
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| Saturday, April 22, 2006 |
| just another friday |
Alice, Sasha and I walked to the Chloe and Adam's house for pre-going out wine, last night. 
Chloe, Adam, Chloe's mom (who is visiting), Denise and Scott. When Chloe's mom met Sasha and I, she excitedly said, "Oh, you're Canadians!"  Adam and Targa.
 Sasha and I left early to go to a keg party, and jumped on the Queen St. car to head down to Dufferin.
 Unfortunatly, I wasn't paying much attention, and made Sasha get off the streetcar prematurely at Ossington.
 We ended up at Stag Nation's keg party, which I was invited to by Jason. (Apparently they forgot to send out invitations to any other females. The few guys I talked to about this matter were sorely dissapointed.)
 You might remember that a couple of months back, I abused craigslist once again in search of an adequately bearded man. I got dozens of pictures, words of love, and near-marriage proposals, but Jason's cleverly worded response was the only one that I replied to.
 So, yes, when it comes down to it, Jason is another Internet friend. However, I think he moved past the levels of being a mere cyber-friend when he made me a mix CD for my road trip and came to my Kegger for a Cause. (Honestly, the power of the bearded man hasn't once yet dissapointed me. Best New Year's Resolution, ever.)

We talked to these kids for a bit, but I couldn't stop staring at the guy on the right's "Improv Camp" t-shirt. As a former "drama nerd" myself, I knew I shouldn't be questioning the fact that he was wearing the said t-shirt. After all, we were at a fundraiser kegger for a comedy troupe. Yet, for some reason, I still found myself biting my tongue. (I'm a bad person.) "How did you guys end up here?" I asked them, after finding out that they also didn't know anyone at the party. "Actually, our drama teacher e-mailed us about it." Wow, makes me wish I went to York. Since when do profs e-mail their students about keggers?

We became friends with this guy, who just walked up to us and handed us jello shooters (I'm always friends with people who immediatly give me shots as a friendship offering.) I sympathized with him about the lack of girls.

He was still excited to be there.

This is the only picture Sasha and I took together all night that we could agree on. I had to delete the rest due to difference of opinion.

"Hi, I'm going to take your picture and then post it on the Internet because I'm bored right now, okay?" (It's strange how many people are willing to cooperate when you walk up to them and simply state this fact.)

Waiting in line for the bathroom was also kind of boring.

(Disclaimer: my pose was clearly mocking something or other, although at this point in time I can't recall what, exactly.)

Have you ever waited forever in line to use a bathroom at a party, and wondered what was taking the person ahead of you so long? I really liked the colour of the bathroom, okay? (I would like to note that there wasn't actually a line for the bathroom. I'm not that inconsiderate.)

Thanks for inviting us, Jason.

Then we met these cute gay boys at Domino's. They live just down the street from us. Just another Friday night.
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posted by Jess at 3:15 PM | Permalink |
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| Things I Hate #1 |
Celery is a pointless vegetable. It has next to no nutritional value, is tasteless (and the little taste it has isn't pleasing), it's difficult to eat, and likely to get stuck in your teeth. The only thing celery has going for it is a unique shape allowing for peanut butter or cheese whiz to be spread in its crevice, but this hardly makes up for its other overly glaring flaws.
And that's how I feel about celery. |
posted by Jess at 2:32 PM | Permalink |
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| Missing Persons Report |
Have You Seen This Girl?  Brianne “Brie” H. Age: 21 Hair: Blonde Eyes: Brown Height: 5’4” without heels Other: monroe piercing on upper lip
Brie was last seen Tuesday afternoon wearing turquoise tights, a frayed denim skirt, and dancing around to Bob Marley after drinking possibly one too many beers in the middle of the afternoon. If you have any information regarding her whereabouts, please let her know we gave away her room to someone else. |
posted by Jess at 1:52 AM | Permalink |
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| Friday, April 21, 2006 |
| Casting Call |
 Courtney’s moving out of China.

But don’t worry, it won’t be like the time the original actress who played Vivian Banks on Fresh Prince of Bel Air changed, and we were all expected not to notice and just to accept that she was the same person. Even her own children didn't seem to notice she was an entirely different woman.
It will be more like the time when Oz left Buffy, and new characters (namely Willow’s lesbian love interest) were introduced instead. And Seth Green still managed to fill our werewolf expectations by occassionally guest-starring* on the show.

. . .yah, it will be more like that. *I hope Court turns into one of those characters who is around frequently enough that instead of introducing her name in the opening credits with the subtitle "guest-star", she'll be on the show often enough to just have her name included in the closing credits. Although, when it comes down to it, I'd love for her face to be there when the theme song plays at the start of the show.
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posted by Jess at 3:02 PM | Permalink |
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| Thursday, April 20, 2006 |
| It's April 20th. (A list of another sort) |
And then began the nights thick with the smell of lilacs, when the sound of pianos echoed clearly down the street.
You nailed boards into the trees, not once letting them know you were a girl. You faltered only once, offering to make juice for their parched lips, before grasping a hammer again. (They were never fooled, though.)
You didn’t have words then, you only had verbs and vowels and sounds and some nouns in between. You had a ladybug made of metal sitting on your windowsill. You’d raise your arms above your head and feel your body stretch into the air above you, not because it felt good, but because it was what characters on television would do when they awoke in the morning.
You’d play basketball every day after school, and forget to call home amidst the squealing and the flirting. Your mom would scold you when you arrived for dinner, “I was worried that those girls followed you home from school and beat you up. You could have been in a ditch someplace. Don’t think they won’t jump you Jessica. They’re not above that.” It was a rare moment of sincere concern. You’d never forget to call home again.
You’d wear lipstick for the first time, something that came in a sample from a magazine and tasted like grapes and stained your lips purple. You’d coast on your bike down the hill past the park, and would be catcalled at for the first time by boys in a jeep headed to the beach. You were allowed to stay up all night to read books, with only the whirring of a floor fan to keep you company.
You’d sit around a campfire while your roommate played guitar and your Dad sang improvised limericks to the group, with a cousin resting on your knee. You'd wondered when you'd gain control again.
You’d lazily make love in a tent in the middle of the afternoon, too hot to do anything except reach outside the tent to get more ice. You’d swim in the lake, and press your wet body against his.
It’s all detached. It's "You" because it’s someone else now, it seems.
And then you. . .no. . .
. . .and then I would write words that were completely superficial in nature and hate every forced syllable. |
posted by Jess at 7:43 PM | Permalink |
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| Wednesday, April 19, 2006 |
| Monopoly on religion |

Free Admission!* *Apparently they had to reduce their prices in order to compete with the guy with the goiter at the corner of Dundas & Yonge who chants in Latin under his breath and hands out religious phamplets. |
posted by Jess at 6:24 PM | Permalink |
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| Monday, April 17, 2006 |
| And for good measure. . . |
. . .here's proof that I didn't spend my entire Easter weekend drinking: 








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posted by Jess at 6:20 PM | Permalink |
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| You give me fever! |
On Friday night, after spending all day in a bus with Sasha, Monique and I headed out to Absolute Comedy to meet Melissa. And when I say "meet" Melissa, I mean that in the most literal sense possible. Melissa and I are Internet friends.  We had never met each other before, much less even spoken to one another before. In fact, Melissa and I don't even e-mail or IM one another.
We know each other purely through the blogosphere.
In preparation for an awkward first date, we both seemed to be referencing a back issue of YM magazine, and brought friends as buffers (Monique and Amanda.) I also brought along a handwritten list of "Things to Talk About", y'know, just in case. (It's a shame I can't get away with this sort of behaviour on regular "first dates." Actually, now that I think about it, what's stopping me from bringing a handwritten list of things to talk about on actual dates?)
 Regardless, it turns out that I didn't need the list.
 (Although I did reference it throughout the night.)

Amanda and Melissa brought us to some basement to sing karoke. I'm not sure who was braver: Monique and I for going into the depths of some mystery basement with strangers we met off the Internet, or Amanda and Melissa for exposing themselves to our horrible singing voices?
 Things started out pretty tame.
 Actually, that was a lie, they didn't start out tame. They started out something more like this.
 Oh, did I mention that my new Internet girlfriend brought me to a gay karoke bar?
Let's just think about this for a second: Two Albertans walk into an Ottawa gay karoke bar with two Islanders that they met on the Internet. . .
It sounds like the start of a really bad joke.


 This kid barely appeared old enough to be in the bar. I needed to include this purely for the fresh hickey on his neck, though.
 I tried to teach Melissa how to two-step, despite the fact that I two-step about as well as I sing.
 Favourite picture of the night, hands-down.






 Somehow, I get this feeling that we would be friends in real life.
 Jason* (who was responsible for the three shots I took at the end of the night, which led to my ultimate, and most literal downfall), Monique and I.



What's this guy holding? Oh, yah, it's my foot. Great. (Three words: Out. Of. Control.)

And then. . .we sang Spice Girls. Which really is a shame, because I can't sing. (And just to clarify, I don't suffer from false modesty. When I say I can't sing, I can't sing. I wish I could offer an apology to everyone who was there to witness this.) 
If you want to see more pictures, check out Melissa's blog. (Which by the way, is awesome all the time, not just when I'm feature on it. Hell, it made me want to meet her! Also, thanks to Adrian for technically** introducing us.)
* Word on the street is that Jason also literally carried me out of the bar. So, uh, I guess I can't be too upset about the shots. Thanks, Jason! **Have I ever mentioned that I love puns? |
posted by Jess at 6:19 PM | Permalink |
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| Thursday, April 13, 2006 |
| E-Mails with My Parents |
Easter is coming up this weekend. I'm going to spend the weekend in Ottawa with Sasha's family and Monique, but I'm also only human. Holidays like this leave me feeling really homesick, especially when I know that even my brother, who lives in BC, will be there without me.
Lucky for me, my mom e-mailed me this morning with words of reassurance that only a mother can provide:
"Have a good weekend. We will think of you maybe at Auntie Bev's."*
Key word being maybe.
It's nice to know that they might take a second to think of me, but aren't entirely sure yet if they'll remember to think of me.
Awesome.
*Okay, I admit what she probably meant was they might be at my Auntie Bev's, but aren't sure yet. However, knowing my mother, there is an equal chance she could have meant it the way I originally read it. She's a funny lady. |
posted by Jess at 1:55 PM | Permalink |
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| Wednesday, April 12, 2006 |
| I'm boring. |
I hate to whine,* but I feel completely unoriginal and uncreative this week and for some reason, I feel as though I should blog something amazing and hilarious and thought-provoking so that this phantom fan base I seem to think I have will be able to get through their day after having their fix of my blog, and won't have to succumb to the alluring powers of whatever drugs they would be addicted to if they didn't have my writing to read and my pictures to look at.
Instead I just feel like writing run-on sentences about nothing.
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*Actually, that was a lie. The truth is, I love to whine. I'm really good at it too. In fact, I think I'm going to put that on my "skills card."**
** (Can I footnote a footnote? Well, I just did. Do you wanna fight about it?)
Skills Card:
Earlier this week, Ryan was complaining that he didn't know what to tell girls when they asked him to dance at the bar (you can read his blog to get the details). I suggested that he should itemize his skills (hardly a surprise, given my fondness for making lists) and whenever a girl approaches him he should say, "I can't dance, however, I do possess these other qualifications, skills and attributes that make up for the fact that I don't dance. " (The principle of this is the same as your classic grade 10 social studies argumentative essay: start out with a con, and then follow it with an overwhelming amount of pros that outweigh the con.)
Ryan, however, decided to take this idea one step further, and is in the process of creating a wallet-sized card that he can hand to girls when they ask him to dance. Brilliant, no?
Anyways, he thinks I should also compile a list of skills for my own card to keep in my wallet. I was going to, until I ran into a major problem: in what situation would I possibly need to pull out my skills card?
I mean, in Ryan's case, he has to use the skills card to compensate for the fact that he's a terrible dancer. However, I'm awesome at pretty much everything, so what opportunity would I ever have to use the list? And with a card like that in your wallet, I'd be looking for excuses to show it off (or, more specifically, show off my personal skills, qualifications and attributes.) I suppose I could just randomly pull out the skills card for no reason whatsoever, but then it would just seem like I was bragging. |
posted by Jess at 1:22 AM | Permalink |
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| Sunday, April 09, 2006 |
| Brie's 21st Birthday @ The Madison |
 Last night, we went out to celebrate Brie's 21st Birthday.


 Wait, something's wrong with this post. It's missing something. But what?
 Oh yah, the obligatory pre-bar picture I always take of myself! (This picture is necessary to compensate for all the other atrocious facial expressions I'm sure to make later in the night.)
 We went to the Madison, where we were all immediatly overwhelmed by the amount of heterosexual guys in one location. (Keep in mind the other girls are in fashion, and we all go to Ryerson, and live two blocks away from the 2nd largest gay district in North Amercia. Heterosexual males are a rarity in our lives.)
The one thing I can't figure out is that if the Madison is a well-known meat-market full of heterosexual guys, why would heterosexual guys want to go there? The math just doesn't work out. (The prevelance of straight guys also resulted in me having to be a bitch to some guy named Rob, and him not taking the hint. But I'm saving that rant for later this week.)
 The birthday girl and me.
 Sasha looked incrediably short sitting next to Mat.
 Mat doing a little striptease.
 The China family (minus Katrina, who was in Ottawa for the weekend): Brie, Court, me and Sasha.
 Little known fact: Mat and I coordinated our hair-dos before we left the house.
 Natty and Julia (Mark's roomates).

 The tables were definitely not designed for Sasha.
 (I can't recall why I was twirling my hair on my finger. I assure you though, that this is not something I would do on a regular basis. I'm more of a batting my eyelashes kind of girl.)

 Socks!

"Mark, I need to tell you something unfortunate about beards." "What Jess?"
 "[content censored]"
 "Yah, I told you it's rather unfortunate." (My favourite thing ever about this picture is Mat's facial expression in the background. He's all like, "Yah, I could have warned you that that's an unfortunate thing about beards.")
 Brie decided to pull a Jess and take a picture of herself in a public venue. Unfortunatly, she wasn't quite as adept at executing it.
 And while I pride myself on being a pro at taking pictures of myself in public places, I also failed in the task at hand.
 Instead, Mark and I decided to play a rousing game of "Get Off That Thing." (For a full set of rules and history of the game, please refer to Mark's blog and click on his March archives. Also keep your eyes peeled for his critique of last night's game's technique.)
 We laughed hysterically when this guy tried to join our game of "Get Off That Thing" (the Official Game of Cool Kids Everywhere, according to Mark) and was promptly kicked out of the bar. [insert foreshadowing here]
 A group shot.
 One word for Mat and Court: Inappropriate. Okay, actually three words: inappropriate and uncalled for!

Jess, Natty, girl whose name I can't remember, and Julia.
 And of course, more inappropriate behaviour from Brie, Court and Mat in the background.



 Apparently the things I say confuse Mark:
 The same look, January 2005. . .
 . . .and December 2005.
 This guy was all too happy to be a participant in "Get Off That Thing."

Court and Mat were headed home, but wanted to play one last round before they left the bar. This pose in particular in incrediable, because both Brie and I are acting as Player #2 and telling them to "Get Off That Thing!" At this point in the night, we decided we were sick of the Madison, and agreed that whenever Sasha and the other girls returned, we would head to another bar. I went to get some water while we waited. When I returned, there was a bouncer was standing menancingly over Brie and Mark. "We have to leave," they told me. "What? Why!?" I was confused. "We'll tell you once we get outside," the told me in hushed voices. I felt guilty. Was it my fault? Did they kick us out of the bar because I insisted upon playing numerous rounds of Get Off That Thing? As it turns out, I had nothing to do with it. (Which is a first!) On Brie's own birthday celebration, she got us kicked out of the bar for the worst reason possible. While I was getting water, Brie and Mark grabbed my camera from my bag, and proceeded to take pictures down Brie's shirt.
 Which looked something like this. (We think this is cleavage, although we're not entirely certain.) The bouncer came over and said, "You can send that home to your Mom." We all agreed that Brie's mom would be really confused by this picture, though.
 The management of the Madison wasn't too impressed, and told us we had to leave.
 "What the hell? For all the reasons we could have been kicked out of the bar tonight, we were kicked out for that?!"
 "We'll show them!"
 When we got home, there was still time for one last roung of "Get Off That Thing!" |
posted by Jess at 1:20 PM | Permalink |
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| Yesterday, I watched people fight for food. |
I don't normally do public service announcements, but I feel inclined to right now. Have you ever spent an entire afternoon at a food bank? 


 When we came in at noon, these shelves were full. This is what they looked like by 3:00 p.m.



 When we came in at noon, every single one of these chairs was filled with people waiting to get food. Fights broke out. The police showed up.
But they still offered us a meal, too.
I felt awkward, and grateful that my stomach was full.
If you're interested in donating or helping out, contact the Fort York Food Bank. (Last summer they ran out of food. Right now the Daily Bread Food Bank is doing their spring food bank drive and are hoping to get 5,000 pounds of food.) |
posted by Jess at 1:10 PM | Permalink |
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| Saturday, April 08, 2006 |
| Would you bail me out of jail? |
 Tired of lukewarm Christianity?
 Why not try Charles' religion instead?

However, it may involve engaging in a number of suspiciously illegal activities in order to revive your faith.  We waited on the corner of Yonge and King for the other members of the congregation to show up.
 Then walked to our church as inconspicuously as possible. (Hint: Jake's suitcase doesn't contain clothes.)
 Well, as inconspicously as possible with an electric organ. Actually, it's hard to be inconspicuous with Canice and her "dragon-beast face."
 All 25 of us entered the place of worship in groups of three and four, so that we didn't arouse suspicion.
 If anyone asked, we were there for the BioVale Phramaceutical Convention. Some were there for the fictional "Toronto Indie Music Week." And some were simply checking in to their rooms.

The iconography marked the way.  Once we got inside, we couldn't find the other groups (I was using my camera flash to light up the pitch-black room so we could find our way).
 Sasha and Sonja wandering around in the dark, trying to find their way. (It brought a whole new meaning to "Let there be light!")

 "This is horror movie material," Canice astutely pointed out.
 (Keep in mind all these photos were taken in complete darkness, save for some of the city light that was coming through the windows. When Sasha took this picture, I could barely even see the chandelier. I didn't take a lot of photos, because my flash was too harsh in the darkness, and couldn't even be able to capture the atmosphere.)
 It's been abandoned since the 1950s. The air is evidence of that. (The blur you see is thick dust.)
 Sarah and Sonja, dressed in their church clothes.
 Sasha and I, eighteen stories above the city lights.
 Canice partially recovered from her illness so that she could join us for the night. It could only be a miracle.

"Jess was here?" Sarah asked. "I'd never defile property. I think Canice did that just to spite me," I said defensively. "You'd probably leave a quote, not your name," said Sonja. "No, wait, you wouldn't leave a quote. You'd leave a question behind." It's scary how well some people can have you pinned.

The view of Toronto from the 18th floor.

Without flash.

With flash. (Okay, I think I've expressed my point about the limitations of my camera now.)
Pierre, Jake, Caroline, Chris Miller and Charles all performed. Chris Miller (who has the unfortunate problem of sharing his name with the newspaper editor that was partially responsible for the closing down of "i enjoy being a slut") was phenomenal. I'll try to get a link to his music in the very near future. 
Charles closed the night by delivering his sermon.

We're saved. (Whose your saviour? Mine's music.) |
posted by Jess at 2:01 AM | Permalink |
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| Thursday, April 06, 2006 |
| To set the mood, listen to Tori Amos while you read this |
"I have nothing left right now. Some of my friends talk about me behind my back, my family is in shambles and just barely hanging on, and I despise school. . .
. . . I need to get out! I want to leave and go someplace where I will never see grungy snow, cowboy boots, and football jerseys ever again. . .
. . .I feel like there is nothing to live for here. I don’t know if it will be different anywhere else, but I need to find out. Everyday is the same. I get up, go to the windowless fortress,* do homework for a billion hours, and then come online for one or two hours. Every day. It isn’t even a relaxing lifestyle. It is so stressful I want to scream. But I am stuck here. I hate that feeling. I feel so hopeless. Only 2 years, 8 months, and 1 day left. And that is just an estimation."
-February 27, 2000
Posted on my original weblog, which I made the unfortunate mistake of stumbling across tonight. (I think the most terrifying part of all of this, is that I posted this stuff on a website for people to read. But keep in mind that this was in the days before Live Journal, which I think renders the tone of the writing slightly more acceptable.)
The sick thing is, I kept that countdown until the day that I pulled away in a U-Haul full of second-hand furniture 2 years, 8 months and 1 day after I wrote that.
I want to give my 15-year-old self a hug right now. (Okay, and maybe I want to spoon with 15-year-old self right now, too. Because that'd be pretty cool. It'd be like cuddling times two.)
*The windowless fortress is what I called my high school, because it didn't have any windows. (Once, on the first day of 11th grade, the power went out. Nobody could find the way to their classes because it was pitch black inside, due to the complete lack of natural light.) It did, however, have a helicopter landing pad on the roof. Who needs windows when you have a helicopter landing pad?
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posted by Jess at 11:54 PM | Permalink |
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| Monday, April 03, 2006 |
| Conversations with my Parents* |
Sunday night 9 p.m. Phone Call to My Parents' House
"Did Dad send my new credit card yet? I'm kind of running low on money and I still need to pay for my vaccinations, buy my bus ticket to Ottawa, and get my computer fixed this week. I lead a very lavish lifestyle, you know."
"Well Jessica, you seem to take all these trips to Ottawa and New York. . ."
I interrupted her, "Mom! I'm going to Ottawa for Easter! It's not like I'm going to spend the holiday by myself in Toronto."
She ignored my interruption, ". . . maybe you should think about getting a job."
I sighed in exasperation loudly.
"Mom, do you remember that one time when I got a job in August, and I've been working there ever since so that I can buy groceries and pay my bills? Because I sure do remember that one time."
She was indignant in her response; "Well, I don't know about your life Jessica!"**
Monday Morning 11:00 a.m. Phone Call Placed to my Dad's Office
"So you're almost done school?"
"Yah, I only have two weeks of classes left. Then I'm coming home, then back to Toronto to work for six weeks, and then I'm leaving the country!" "Back to work?" My Dad seemed genuinely confused. "Yah, the Career Centre has created a position for me so that I can work there until I leave for Vanuatu." "Oh," he paused, still sounding confused. "Are they actually going to pay you?" _________________________________________________________________________
*I'm going to pull a Mark, and hand out bonus points to anyone who can think of alternative titles for this post. Examples: "Hi, remember me, your daughter? " or "Do you remember that one time when you gave birth? Okay, now do you remember the second time you gave birth?" or "Hi Mom, it's your money leeching financial parasite calling!"
**My mom files all my taxes through my Dad's accountant, and subsequently recieves all my T4 slips. Accordingly, you would think she knows all the places I've worked in the past year. (Which is 4 different places by the way, because I like to work more than one job at once.) But this is apparently not the case. |
posted by Jess at 11:52 AM | Permalink |
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| Sunday, April 02, 2006 |
| I Don't Spoon Around |
Last night I went to "Sugar Coated: This Addiction of Forever" with Sasha, Court and Court's mom Debbie. Sugar Coated is the second year fashion students' evening wear collection, and the third years' menswear collection. It's organized and produced by the Fashion Communications students at Ryerson. In plainspeak, Brie organized the show, and Sasha and Court's designs were in it.  The front view of Court's dress.
 The back view.
 The front view of Sasha's dress.

The back view.
After the show, I was tired, had no money, tons of homework and writing to do, and a First Aid course in the morning. I decided that I should probably stay home.
 Of course, I didn't though. (Seriously, now? Sit through a fashion show full of energetic music and then go home and go to bed? This is me that we are talking about, after all.)
 I went to Adam and Chloe's place, where I met up with Scott and Alice. I also met Alex (another Australian), Sharon and Heather.
Alex insisted that I not "use his likeness" on my blog and asked me to blur out his face in all the photos. I agreed, but quite frankly, I'm much too lazy. I'll risk the reprecussions of posting these photos. (Fact: I ask each person that I take a picture of if they mind that their face will show up here. Alex is the first person in the history of the blog to actually request that I blur out his face. But he also asked me to take tons of photos of him, so I suspect the whole blurring out his face thing was just to antagonize me.)
 Chloe and Scott.
 Laura, I don't know who you are, and I've never met you, but I just wanted to say thanks for leaving your vodka at Alice's place! We really enjoyed drinking it.
 Alice and Adam.
Around this point in the evening, I provoked everyone with a conversation about the hotly debated topic of spooning. Alex was adamently opposed to my theologies regarding "the spoon."
"Why would any guy come home with a girl to just spoon?!" he demanded, confused. "I just don't see the point. I think I'd be really upset with a girl if I went home with her and just ended up spooning."
"What if the guy knew what he was getting himself into, beforehand?" I contested.
"Well, then why would he go home with her in the first place?" Alex just didn't understand. [This is foreshadowing, y'all.]
 I think Scott was on my side.
 After finishing off Laura's vodka, we started to walk to Mick E. Fynn's. Scott carried the girls part of the way there.
 Yes. Girls. As in plural. I was impressed. Sharon was squished.
At Mick E. Fynn's, Alice told me she had never been there before.
"It's a good place to go for a beer," I explained, "because if you are here for a period of longer than 10 minutes, you always run into people you know."
 No more than 10 minutes later, I ran into Brendan, Brent and Ian.
 (I have no idea what is going on here, but I think I like it.)
 They were out celebrating Ian's birthday. (Happy Birthday Ian!)
 Max was there too, and he mauled my face.
 I think he was upset with because I told him that his beard wasn't long enough for me.
 And Sarah was there, too. (Hell, it's Mick E. Fynn's. Everyone was there.)

 I'm including this picture for the sheer reason that I really liked Sarah's outfit.
 After an hour, we realized it was well past midnight, so we jumped into cabs and headed to Kensington Market.
 Scott knows the drill. (The drill being the one that involves me taking pictures in cabs.)
 We ended up at Supermarket.

 It was packed. (As a result, we had to dance on the stage.)
 Heather and Sharon.
 After saying goodbye to Heather and Sharon, Adam challenged Chloe and I to race each other in our heels.
 Chloe won, but upon closer inspection we discovered that my heels (the ones on the right) were a lot higher. So, really, it was more like a tie. Plus, we were both winners because we didn't drunkenly fall on our asses or twist our ankles. Always a bonus!
 I have no explaination for this, but I like it.
 We ended up in Chinatown for a late night meal.
 I feel bad for the people who work in restaurants that stay open that late.
 This is the first of about 15 pictures on my camera of Alice and I laughing our asses off at something.



 I think we were laughing at our complete inability to take a halfway decent picture together.
 It was definitely the end of the night.
 (I'm sure this was probably Adam's reaction to Alice and I attempting to get a good picture together.)

Denise also randomly showed up at the restaurant with her friends in time to read our fortune cookies. While we waited outside to catch a cab, Alex tried to convince me to bring him home to spoon with me. Yes, you read right. He wanted me to bring him home and spoon with him. "Let me guess," I asked him, "it's the end of the night, you're too tired to do anything else, and all you want to do is cuddle with someone and pass out? Do you see my point?" Alex admitted that finally saw the brilliance and the point of my spooning plan. "I don't spoon around," I told Alice as we pulled away in a cab headed home, minus Alex. And then I went home, drank loads of water, and settled comfortably into bed alone.
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posted by Jess at 4:47 PM | Permalink |
4 comments
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| Saturday, April 01, 2006 |
| The Week in Review |
 On Sunday, Katrina got Charles, Sonja, Sasha and I to walk up to the Danforth to celebrate Greek Independance Day with her.
 She convinced us that there was going to be a parade.
 The parade itself consisted of people walking, some of whom were in costume and some who were waving flags.
 And not much else.
The walking people carrying flags went on for at least an hour (and we showed up late!) and we came to the conclusion that every Greek person in Toronto (minus Katrina) had to be walking in the parade.
 Oh, except word on the street is that this guy liberated Greece. Or something.
 Ignoring the ongoing stream of walking people holding flags, we decided to seek out souvlaki. Except currently Katrina's not eating meat for lent, Charles and I are vegetarian, and Sonja decided to abstain.
 I was jealous watching Sasha suck back the meat until we found a Greek bakery that had some fantastic spanakopita.
 On Wednesday night, Nando and I went to controller.controller. Their opening band sounded sort of like We Are Wolves, but wasn't quite so easy on the eyes.
 Last night, Katrina, Alice, Chloe and I met up with with some of the Brunswick boys at Labrynth for an Urban Planning party and martinis.

And Katrina tried to convince us that she was dressed like a lesbian. |
posted by Jess at 11:37 AM | Permalink |
3 comments
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